Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
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