worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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