My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Damn victory sex feels great
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
