some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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