watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
