so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
