Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Randomize
