I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize