guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
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