What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
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