I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
