You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
