i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
