Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
