My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
