I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
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