Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Randomize
