We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
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