I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
How does one acquire holy water?
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Randomize
