He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize