the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
Randomize
