we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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