I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
