I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
I just blew my weed a kiss
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
