she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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