u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
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