Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
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