i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
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