i jhust puked up my retainher.
I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
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