operation have a gay friend backfired
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
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