Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Randomize
