i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Randomize
