p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
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