it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
