She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
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