Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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