you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
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