That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
