I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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