If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
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