They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
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the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Found the puke drawer
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize