Nicole vs. Life
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Randomize
