So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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