It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
it's too hot outside to masturbate.
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
you have to choose: penises or morals?
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
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