I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
I bet he comes in French.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
