I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
Rumble strips road head = magical
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
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