i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
