What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
COCAINE IS GR8
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Randomize
