There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
Randomize
