I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
Did you just see the Batmobile???
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
