Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
