My balls are so social today.
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize