So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
